What Are the Best Strategies to Handle Custody Disputes in Texas?

If you’re in a custody dispute, the next steps you take will have a profound impact on your life. As any Houston custody attorney can tell you, these situations aren’t simple, but there are some strategies that can make a big difference.

What Are the Best Strategies to Handle Custody Disputes in Texas?

Get a Houston Custody Attorney

Your first step should always be to get an experienced family law attorney on your side as soon as possible. A lawyer will help you plan out a specific strategy for your case, advocate for you in court and all discussions, protect you from unfair treatment by your ex-spouse, and help you avoid anything that could harm your case.

Be Actively Involved

To retain custody of your child or to argue that you are the parent who should be awarded custody, you’ll want to show some basic things, the first being that you are already very involved in your child’s life and taking an active parental role. This means you’re involved in their development, know their interests and dislikes, are disciplining and educating your child, etc. If your child is very young, you’ll also want to show you’re shouldering your share of the basic burdens like feeding, bathing, and reading to them, and that you’re taking your child to medical appointments.

If they’re older, you need to be involved in their schooling and extracurricular activities. You need also to be able to show that you’re spending quality time with your child and are capable of keeping track of things like their schedule, the names of their teachers and coaches, etc.

Establish a Physical Custody Schedule If Possible

What the courts like most to see is when two parents can get along. Unless you and the child’s other parent are at such an impasse that any discussions are impossible, you need to try and negotiate a physical custody schedule.

Ask your lawyer to help you here, as mediation can go a long way to help. If you already have a schedule before you go to court, that will become the status quo and the court will not change it unless there’s a compelling reason to do so for the child’s best interest.

Provide the Right Environment

You need to be able to show that you are capable of providing a safe and stable environment for your child. Your home should be clean, safe, with a specific are that belongs to the child and places where they can safely play. You need to be able to provide nutritious meals, as well, so keep a record of your grocery receipts to show that you’re not just giving your child fast food all the time, but making healthful meals.

Stay Calm and Put the Child First

Yes, custody disputes are tough and contentious, and it’s likely that you and the other parent are going to fight at times. But as far as is possible for you, stay calm, don’t bad-mouth the other parent, and always put your child first. When you do interact with the other parent, make your discussions about the child and nothing else. If a dispute begins, ask the other parent to continue the discussion over email or phone to ensure your child is not a party to an argument.

Don’t Cut Out the Other Parent

Unless the other parent is abusive (in which case, you should talk with your Houston custody attorney about how to approach the situation), you should be promoting the active involvement of the other parent in your child’s life. Family courts do not like to see one parent cutting out another just to be vindictive or because they can’t get along in other areas of life. Also, if you are re-married, don’t try to force your child to call your new spouse “mom” or “dad,” especially if they are very young.

Keep Very Careful Records

Documentation is your best friend. It’s how you show that you’re a fit parent, and it’s how you’ll show that the other parent is not (if it’s necessary to reduce their involvement in the child’s life). Keep a journal of every incident, but also keep track of fun things you do with your child and special milestones in their life. Keep all communication you have with your ex, accurate financial records, any police reports or court records, and all medical reports.

Keep It Off Social Media

Your ex and/or their lawyer may be watching for any opportunity to undercut your case. If you badmouth the other parent online, it could come back to bite you. Even something as simple as making a joke about missing a child’s pickup time after school could be taken out of context and used against you. Talk only with trusted family or a therapist. You can and should, however, tell your lawyer about everything.

Don’t Try to Parent Alone

Until the custody is final, you do not have sole legal custody of your child, which means you are not allowed to make unilateral decisions on important issues in your child’s life without the other parent’s involvement. For example, you cannot change your child’s school or church, withhold information about their medical needs from the other parent, or do something like move until things are worked out with the court.

…But My Ex Is Doing It!

If your ex is doing the things mentioned above, document every instance and let your lawyer know. Your lawyer will be able to use this against your ex in court.

…But My Ex Is Putting the Kids in Danger

If your ex is a danger to your children, and this is an urgent situation, you need to talk to your lawyer immediately about getting temporary court orders, a restraining order, or even an arrest warrant out against your ex. If it’s an immediate emergency, call the police right now.

…But My Ex Refuses to Co-Parent

If you’re trying to involve your ex in your child’s life and he or she simply refuses, document your attempts to contact them. Take screenshots of their texts, keep their emails, and write down in your journal whenever you attempt to call and your ex doesn’t answer or dismisses you and the needs of the child.

Stay Away From Drugs and Alcohol

Any evidence of an irresponsible lifestyle can be used against you, and you can be sure that, if things are contentious, your ex or their lawyer are watching for a slipup on your part. If you have been a recreational drug user in the past, now is the time to put that behind you forever. Stay away from the clubs, and keep any drinking to a minimum.

These are just a few strategies that will help you get the best result in a custody dispute. The most important thing of all is to have the advice of a skilled family law attorney on your side as early as possible. Contact us at the law office of C.E. Schmidt & Associates, PLLC in Houston, TX today for a free consultation. We have over 40 years of experience in Texas family law courts, and we’ll bring all that experience to bear on your case as we fight for your parental rights.